Am I obsessed with a person? The test that opens your eyes

Do you know that? Your cell phone vibrates and your heart jumps painfully. Not with joy, but with an almost unbearable tension. You check his or her online status for the tenth time in an hour. Every unread message feels like cold turkey and every little gesture is analyzed under a microscope.

We often call it “being deeply in love”, but sometimes something darker creeps in: obsession. It’s a fine line between deep affection and a fixation that takes our breath away.

In this article, we’ll take a non-judgmental look at what’s going on in your head and help you find clarity with a test.

Why obsession feels like love

In the peak phase of fixation, the brain barely distinguishes between love and addiction. Dopamine floods our system. But while real love makes us freer, obsession makes us narrower.

There are two sides to this coin:

1. Your own fixation: You lose yourself in longing (often called limerence).
2. External control: A partner (often with narcissistic traits) makes you obsessed with him/herself through assault.
3. The alien energetic control: Energy beings or entities that control you energetically. Use the demon test for this.

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Self-test: Am I obsessed with a person?

Answer the following questions honestly with yes or no.

1. Thought carousel: Do your thoughts revolve around this person for more than 70% of your waking hours?
2. Digital control: Do you regularly check profiles, followers or online statuses to know what the person is doing?
3. Mood dependency: Does your mood depend almost exclusively on how (or whether) the person reacts to you?
4. Neglect: Have you neglected hobbies or friends just to be “on call” for this person?
5. Fear instead of longing: Do you feel a subtle fear or panic at the thought that the person might turn away?
6. External control: Do you feel like you have to justify your behavior, your clothes or your contacts?
7. Scenario building: Do you constantly create dialogs or future scenarios in your head that never happen in reality?

Evaluation

• 0-2 times “yes”: You’re probably just freshly in love. Enjoy the butterflies, but stay with yourself.
• 3-5 times “Yes”: You are in the warning zone. The line to emotional dependency is blurred. Your focus is too much on the outside.
• 6-7 times “yes”: There are many indications of an obsession or a toxic dynamic. Your own self is getting lost.

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The different faces of obsession

1. limerence: the addiction to the ideal image

Often we are not in love with the person, but with the feeling we have in their presence. Psychologists call this limerence. We are addicted to the next “high”, the next confirmation.

2. narcissistic control: when obsession is enforced

Sometimes the obsession is the result of emotional abuse. A narcissistic partner uses tactics like love bombing (extreme attention-seeking) and subsequent withdrawal to drive you into addiction. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it’s not love – it’s control. The partner has become a demon.

3. other forms

• Erotomania: The firm (delusional) belief that someone famous is in love with you.
• Retrospective jealousy: The agonizing fixation on your partner’s past.

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First steps back to yourself

There is no shame in losing yourself. It shows how deeply you can feel. But you deserve to play the leading role in your life.

• Digital detox: Set yourself fixed times without your cell phone. Stop “stalking”. Every time you check your profile, you feed the addiction.
• Focus reversal: Ask yourself every morning: “What can I do for myself today?”
• Reality check: Write a list of the negative aspects of the situation. This gets the person off the pedestal.
• Transform energetic causes: Release your energetic resonances to live freely your true nature. E.g. using our Timewaver Remote Service
• Forgiveness: Accept the current situation, this reduces the pent-up energy. Forgive yourself and your partner, you can use the powerful forgiveness ritual Ho oponopono yourself and easily.

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Here you can find help (contact points)

If you feel you can’t get out of the spiral on your own – especially in the case of narcissistic abuse – don’t hesitate to seek help:

• Nummer gegen Kummer (Germany): 116 111 (anonymous counseling for young people).
• Telephone counseling: 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222, available around the clock.
• Weisser Ring e.V.: Help with stalking and domestic violence (weisser-ring.de).
• Therapeutic help: Platforms such as Therapie.de help you to find experts for emotional dependency in your area.
• our Timewaver offers: simply book online and experience / feel it wherever you are

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Conclusion: You are valuable, even if no message lights up on your display. True love lets you breathe – it doesn’t constrict your throat. Resolve your (energetic) resonances with the cause, otherwise you will attract the same, or similar, circumstances again and again, just like the law of attraction.